Tag Archives: executive coaching

The Magic Response that will Make You Great at Receiving Criticism-Once and For All!

Are you great at receiving “constructive” criticism? Yeah, I thought so too. After all, I get paid to be a precise communicator as speaker, consultant and coach. Unfortunately, as I would soon learn, I needed a second opinion.

A quick poll of my business colleagues and family yielded the general consensus: “You are not terrible at receiving criticism, but you often have a comeback, explanation or a rebuttal. Especially, if you disagree with the feedback given you. You are smart, but you can be defensive.” To that, I responded: “Yes, but what if the feedback isn’t remotely accurate?” “Bingo, there you go!” was their quick return. Touche!

What about you? Chances are, you are not as good at receiving criticism as you think either. Most of us are not- even those, ironically, with advanced degrees in communication-related fields.

Can you radically improve in a short amount of time. Yes!

Marshall Goldsmith, noted business coach, offers a transformative response to criticism you can put to immediate use. It is simple to execute but it will mean holding your tongue and treating all feedback you receive, one-on-one, similarly-something that is emotionally challenging to do, especially if you are used to being right or having the answers! But, if you learn to faithfully apply Goldsmith’s technique, it will change your business and personal life as it has mine. Why is it so powerful? Because some of the most valuable feedback we will ever need to hear will, sadly, remain unsaid. Others will quietly determine it is not worth the cost of offering it to us.

Goldsmith’s technique is challenging to use consistently but is straightforward. In response to any feedback or criticism you receive simply respond:

“Thank you for pointing that out. I will give what you said careful consideration.”

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The Top Five Actions for Rapidly Becoming a Master Influencer in Your Profession or Organization-Part 2

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thank you with borderACTION #2: Master the Art of the Thank You

Two years ago I tweeted a direct thank you message to a famous author.  I had greatly enjoyed his book and used it with my mastermind group.  To my surprise, he responded within an hour.  This led to a back and forth conversation by email, then to a phone call, a podcast interview, and ultimately to a visit to his office to have lunch when I was speaking in his state.  Today, we are colleagues and connect by phone every so often to stay in touch.

Lest you think the above story is an anomaly, it has actually happens often in my work and has enriched my life in ways that I could not have imagined.  When I was just considering the speaking profession, I sent a thank you and inquiry to another author, now enjoying his heavenly reward, Og Mandino. Og wrote back and encouraged me to become a speaker, sharing connections that would change my life. Was his letter impactful?  Yes! That was 2,500 seminars ago.

Small gifts (like sincere thank yous) bring the giver and receiver together.
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Not only does it feel great to acknowledge those who have served you, thank you notes often have the result of bring the giver and the receiver together.  For best results, reach out in ways and in places where your communication has the best chance of not being lost in a sea of other emails or in a pile of unsolicited mail. Here are a few tips:

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